personal growth

The past few weeks I’ve been walking through 1 Corinthians 13 and discussing my interpretation and personal application of the scriptures. This week is the third and final discussion and involves verses eight through thirteen. If you missed week one or two, you can check them out as well.

⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

In our world, we may be led to believe that love can fail. That all the love in the world cannot change specific situations. However, perhaps it is from a belief that love is only one thing – continual unconditional approval of all things. As we’ve seen in the previous sections of this chapter, there are many facets to love – patience, kindness, hope, perseverance, not delighting in evil, and rejoicing with the truth to name a few. God’s love does not change based on our behavior. But his love does involve discipline. His love for us causes him to reveal our sin so that we can repent and choose a better, more life-giving path. His love compels him to encourage us to live for more than our own pleasure. He knows that life is fuller when we love and serve others. And that’s what he wants for us – not a self-indulgent life, but an abundant life.

The second half of verse eight echoes the first three verses, saying that the gifts and abilities we have are temporary. They will not last. The things we do for others will probably not be remembered after our death. But love will. The things we do in love will have an eternal impact. People are better at remembering how you made them feel than what you actually did for them. They may not remember how you loved them, but they will likely remember that you did.

⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part,

We are human. All we know is in this short span of time we have on earth. We are finite. We cannot comprehend all that God has planned. We can only share the wisdom and insight he gives to us. We will not know the reason behind everything that happens in this world, to us, or to others. We can only trust that God is good and all will be revealed in his timing.

¹⁰ but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.

I am not confident about what this means. I am assuming it is talking about Jesus’ return to complete the full work of God. When Jesus returns to earth, we will all be ushered into the kingdom of God. There will no longer be brokenness, pain, or hurt. God’s plan will be complete and we will have the full understanding of his plans. Our fragile earthly bodies will be no more and we will be healed and made whole.

¹¹ When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.

As children, we know very little. Our focus is on ourselves and our lives. We don’t consider the greater worldview or think about what things might be like for others. We know only our experiences and make decisions based on our limited knowledge. When we get older, we realize just how little we know. We understand a little better how we fit into the world and our obligations. We can no longer pretend that life is all about us. We understand that our experience is not the only one and others have wisdom and knowledge we can benefit from. We must become part of the greater community and contribute meaningfully.

¹² For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

Similarly, right now we only see a tiny bit of creation and humanity. We only know of this present age and our experience. We don’t truly know the extent of history that led us to where we are now. We can only guess at what the future holds. When heaven comes, the whole scope of things will be known to us and we can better understand the full picture.

I like this little reminder that God knows everything about me. Of course he does, he created me. He knows my weaknesses and my strengths. He knew that what I could offer would be best utilized right now in this period of time. I don’t know all of why I am here and what impact I have had and will have throughout my lifetime, but one day perhaps I will. I can trust God’s purposes, plans, and timing.

¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Faith and hope are manifestations of love, but they aren’t as complete as love. Love encompasses a great number of attributes (as noted in the earlier verses). If we are not to be known by anything else, God (through Paul) wants it to be love. It shifts priorities when I think that how I love is more important than what I believe and/or hope for. The focus is not on me but on others and how I can show love in meaningful ways.

This concludes my study of 1 Corinthians 13. I have a lot to think about. I don’t want this to just be something I did, but to actually change the way I act, think, speak, and live. What is one way I can apply the study to my everyday life? I can trust that God is able to provide what I need and grow my capacity and ability to love others better. I can spend meaningful time in prayer and reading the Bible, asking him to work in me to manifest the attributes of love in my heart and life.

 

What are your thoughts after this study? How can you apply these verses to your life? What other scriptures on love encourages or inspires you?

This is part two of my study of 1 Corinthians 13 in an effort to better understand love and improve at loving others. Part one tackled the first three verses of the chapter. This one gets into the nitty gritty of what love looks like in verses four through seven. Boy does it sting to compare myself to perfect love. Thank God for grace!

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

I have heard several times to insert my own name into this section to see if I am really loving well. Is the following statement true: Megan is patient, Megan is kind. Megan does not envy, Megan does not boast, Megan is not proud? Definitely not.

I have not always been good about patience, especially when I have prized efficiency over grace. I am learning what inspires impatience and have tried to set up circumstances to allow patience to prevail (like adding extra time to getting ready to leave the house so I don’t end up snapping at my kids to get in the car).

My kindness is tested when I feel slighted. My first inclination is to seek revenge rather than offer love and seek understanding. Often people don’t intentionally do things to hurt or offend me. If I can give them the benefit of the doubt, I can come from a place of love.

My envying is a result of not believing that God will provide all that I need. I want what someone else has rather than focusing on what I have been given. It’s comparing and I wasn’t created to live the same life as anyone else.

I probably am boastful when I am feeling insecure. I need an ego boost and think it will come from proclaiming my wins to someone else. I mistakenly believe I need to feel superior to others to have worth or value.

I cannot pretend to believe that I don’t suffer from pride. I have proudly worn the title of Ms. Independent and Self-Sufficient. I struggle with believing that having it all together and being perfect is achievable and desirable. However, I don’t know anyone who thinks perfect people make great friends and confidants. Anyone seen as perfect makes you feel like you have to pretend to be close to perfect too. You can’t be your real self. And when I pretend to not need people, it just sets me on a path toward loneliness, one I’ve been on too many times. I am well aware of the pitfalls of pride, and yet I often forget and fall into them again.

 

⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 

I have been guilty of cutting others down, both in my head and out loud. I do it to try to feel better but it doesn’t really work. I usually feel terrible for being unkind toward others. Thankfully, I have loving people who will call me out on this bad habit.

I am increasingly aware of my tendency to look out for numero uno. I worry that putting others’ needs first means that there will be nothing left over for me. This scarcity mentality indicates that I do not trust God to provide for my needs. Internally I think, “If I don’t care for my needs, no one will.” It’s not the truth but it’s how I often live.

I don’t believe that I struggle a lot with anger. I could be fooling myself. I think being easily angered is similar to feeling insulted, slighted, or disrespected. Those seem to be the times I’m likely to get angry. But maybe I don’t interact enough with others for this to happen. I do acknowledge that I tend to comment on other drivers while I’m in a car, which probably isn’t the best practice, especially in front of my children.

Keeping no record of wrongs is one I have actively worked on. I have been known to act passively-aggressively when I felt wronged by someone else. I hate conflict and so I’d rather not discuss my hurt feelings and hope they figure it out by my moody behavior. However, becoming aware of this behavior, I have worked to be better at naming my hurt and then moving on, not letting it continue to hang over the relationship. I’m not perfect at this, but I think progress has been made.

⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 

Love doesn’t enjoy seeing others hurt or injustice prevail. It doesn’t like deeds done in darkness. It doesn’t indulge in others’ hurts, setbacks or failures. It doesn’t believe in karma. There are definitely times I have been a little gleeful when someone’s bad behavior dealt consequences. It’s mainly because for a long time I tried to be perfect and keep the law. I was a goody two shoes and didn’t like seeing others appear to have more fun and not appear to receive any repercussions. I wasn’t able to see the sin in my own life and the grace I was in need of just as much as the “bad guys.” That has changed, thankfully, as I’ve gotten older and grown in life experiences.

Love is excited that grace is freely available to all, that every person is deeply loved and delighted in by God. Forgiveness and new life are available to all. Praise God! That should be my focus and aim – sharing the truth of all we have received from God.

⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love protects. It looks out for others. It seeks good and not harm. It is on your side. It is dependable. I am a loyal person so, often, if we are good friends I am looking out for your welfare. Likewise, I’m a fairly trusting (sometimes gullible) and trustworthy person. I believe what you say until I learn I have been lied to.

Love hopes. It believes positively that good is coming or can come in any situation. It prays in hope and faith that God will hear and respond. It does not see any situation or person as hopeless or irredeemable. It knows that all things are possible with God. Because of this belief, it perseveres – in prayer, in pursuing deeper relationships, in service, in personal growth. It trusts that it is possible to make an impact in local and world injustices. It believes that becoming more loving and less selfish is possible with God’s work. It chooses not to give up.

Stay tuned for part three next week!

How does your love compare to the kind of love spelled out in this section of scripture? Do you also see areas for improvement? Which part or parts do you excel in loving others?

Jesus’ ultimate message to his followers was to love God and love other people. I have been trying to focus on those two things and let everything else be peripheral. Jesus himself said all of the laws and prophets were summed up in those two directives (see Matthew 22:37-40). If I can successfully do those things then I am being obedient.

I decided that it would be helpful for me to remind myself of what love really is and looks like so I have been reading the passage in scripture that has been dubbed “the love passage,” 1 Corinthians 13. I have been reading it most days and really wanted to think more about what it was saying to me about what godly love looks like. I will take a look at each verse and what it may be saying to me about true love.

¹If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

Speaking in tongues often references speaking in other languages. Being able to communicate well with someone else is important for understanding. If I can communicate eloquently or fluently with other people but do not come from a loving place, my words are essentially useless. We all need to know that we are loved and one way that is communicated is through words.

It makes me think of writing because that’s my preferred form of communication. I can write all of the words I want and have insightful and intelligent articles, but if the heart behind it is not love, it may not make much of an impact, at least not one of significance. I should check my motivation behind my words. Am I writing to build myself up? Am I seeking personal fame or fortune? Or am I hoping to encourage others, to show them they are not alone, that they are seen and loved?

² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.

I can be very wise and intelligent and able to give good advice. I can trust in God and believe that he can do anything. But if my motivation for imparting knowledge or seeking God is not the good of others, then my abilities are being used unwisely. The gift and abilities I have are to be used to glorify God and he receives the glory when I serve others from a loving and generous heart.

³ If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

I can be the most generous person on earth, but if I am doing it to honor myself, it is worthless. God cares most about my heart. He seeks and knows the “why” behind everything we do. He wants our motivation to be love, to share the grace and compassion we’ve received from God with those around us.

I had planned to work through the whole section in one post, but it has turned out to be longer than anticipated. I am now dividing it into three sections. Stay tuned next week to read part two!

Do you have any additional or different thoughts about what these passages mean? I am no expert so I welcome more knowledge and explanation!