Megan Byrd

Writer

loved

Four Somethings: August Edition

I am participating in a blog link up on the last Friday of each month where bloggers share four things from the month that fit into each of the following categories:

  • Something Loved
  • Something Said
  • Something Learned
  • Something Read

This has been a fun experience! I am excited to continue to ponder these four things each month and see what I find! I’d love it if you’d join me and link up over at HeatherGerwing.com. You can also check out my Somethings from January, February, March, April, May, June, and July.

August’s Somethings:

Something Loved

My family and I spent a Saturday morning at Sweetwater Creek State Park. It was beautiful and fun traversing the terrain along the water. I bought a State Parks parking pass this month and am motivated to get my money’s worth. Plus I love hiking and being outdoors in nature so it’s not hard to convince me to lace up my boots.

Something Said

For some reason, as we get older and we mature we forget how to [play]…we’ve got to find the things that are playful because that’s part of the abundant life [God] wants to give us. 

I listen to a podcast called Woven that is focused on practical faith and living an abundant life. A recent episode called Sustaining Grace talked about Self Care vs. Soul Care. One thing mentioned for self-care was taking time for play. As a parent, I have realized how terrible I am at playing for pure enjoyment. I tend to be too focused on productivity. But failing to stop and rest is ultimately harmful to my well-being. After listening to this podcast, I thought about things I do that are fun but not necessarily productive. The first one that came to mind was playing Mario on the Switch. It has no real value other than I enjoy it. So I sat down and played it for a while. It was an enjoyable breather and one I will probably do regularly to keep some fun in my life.

Something Learned

I listened to Brett Trapp (B.T.) Harman’s audiobook Blue Babies Pink: A Southern Coming Out Story in 44 Episodes. I learned what it was like for him to be a Christian wrestling with same-sex attraction. I learned about the fears he harbored and how he worked through them.

Something Read

You telling me God love you, and you ain’t never done nothing for him? I mean, not go to church, sing in the choir, feed the preacher and all like that?

But if God love me, Celie, I don’t have to do all that. Unless I want to. There’s a lot of other things I can do that I speck God likes.

Like what? I ast.

Oh, she say. I can lay back and just admire stuff. Be happy. Have a good time.  (Conversation between Celie and Shug Avery)

This month I read The Color Purple by Alice Walker. It’s hard to believe I hadn’t already read it in high school. I really enjoyed the writing style and the content. I learned a little more about African-American history and experience. The theme of resilience was inspiring. I would recommend this book to anyone who hasn’t read it.

Feeling Loved Despite Your Flaws

 

Something amazing happened recently! I decided to do a workout video at home so that I could get exercise in before preschool pickup (that’s not the amazing thing, please keep reading). I turned it on, thinking that it was about 40 minutes long. When it began to play I realized that it was an hour long! I literally didn’t have time for that.

Normally, I would just shut it off and not do anything but I was trying to complete an exercise challenge on my apple watch and needed a workout completed for the day. (I am competitive and use challenges to help keep me motivated to stay in shape.) I saw that the video had a fifteen-minute warm-up so I fast-forwarded through it and did my own, shortened warm-up. (This in itself is huge – I’m not following instructions to the letter – a big no-no for a perfectionist!)

I then started the main part of the video. After about thirty minutes, I realized that I needed to leave so I stopped it, did a quick cool-down, and headed out. Now, to a normal person, this probably sounds fairly ordinary. I had a hard deadline I could not ignore so I did what was needed. However, I am not a normal person; I am a perfectionist. My bent is to do it right or not at all. Doing an exercise video right means to complete the whole thing, and, if that’s not possible, then not even starting it. Only doing part of the video is considered failure, the worst fear of a perfectionist because s/he believes that to fail means to be a failure and, therefore, unlovable and worthless.

I realize the idea that I failed probably sound ridiculous to many people. I exercised for 30+ minutes – sounds like a win for my health, right? My brain doesn’t think like that. It says, “You didn’t do everything in the video so it doesn’t count.” Obviously, the sweat accumulated and calories burned don’t just disappear, but my head marks the experience off as a failure. I wasn’t perfect, the video was unfinished, so I failed.

However, I am growing in this area of perfectionism and realizing that it’s impossible to be perfect at all times in all things. Choosing to do some of the video rather than none is a huge step for me. I was able to recognize the lie I usually tell myself that it’s better not to try than to try and fail or be imperfect in the execution. I gave myself permission to be imperfect and still believe that I am loved and valuable.

God is really working on me in this area. Realizing that my personality skews toward perfectionism helps me to give myself grace and be more aware of the behaviors and inaccurate thoughts that come from the drive to be perfect.

I don’t want to be captive to perfectionism. I want to live free and that requires truly believing that I am loved, accepted, and valuable in spite of my flaws. I am learning more and more that God can bring good things out of my imperfections if I am willing to admit to myself and others that I am not perfect.

Four Somethings: April Edition

I am participating in a blog link up on the last Friday of each month where bloggers share four things from the month that fit into each of the following categories:

  • Something Loved
  • Something Said
  • Something Learned
  • Something Read

This has been a fun experience thus far! I am excited to continue to ponder these four things each month and see what I find! I’d love it if you’d join me and link up over at HeatherGerwing.com. You can also check out my Somethings from January, February, and March.

 

April’s Four Somethings:

Something Loved

Growing up, my family often worked on puzzles during the holidays. I have continued to enjoy them as an adult and complete one or two each year. I have noticed that my son also enjoys working on puzzles. We have a number of small puzzles that are 12 to 48 pieces and he is able to complete them without assistance. Our library loans out puzzles so we picked one out together and brought it home to work on. We have since checked out several more and have turned the dining room into our puzzle room. I love that my son and I now have a mutual passion to enjoy and develop together.

Something Said

I’ve really seen and experienced that change is not something that happens in a straight line, you know from point A to point B. Especially if you’re a perfectionist like me you think, “Oh, I’m going to make this change. I’m going to go through the five steps and then I’ll be at point B and nice and happy.” The reality is, that is not real life and the way that change more often looks is if you picture a slinky or a spiral. This is a theory of change that is out there in psychology. It’s like we’re going along that slinky and revisiting the same issues again and again and that’s normal. But, if you think of a slinky, it stretches out and you’re always revisiting those issues from a little bit different place, a little bit different perspective, and you’ve added life experience, you’ve had added perspective. So I would encourage anybody who’s revisiting a struggle you’ve had in the past not to say “Oh, I’m back at square one” because everybody revisits struggles. That’s normal. It’s just about understanding that we’re works in progress and when we revisit a struggle we can ask ourselves, “What have I learned about dealing with this struggle and how can I more effectively face it this time than I have in the past?”

This was a quote from Dr. Angela Schaffer who was a guest on one of my new favorite podcasts Woven with Rebecca Peet and Rebecca Cochran (Episode 3: The Doctor Is In). I really appreciated the analogy of a slinky. I do feel frustrated when I feel like I am revisiting the same struggle multiple times. However, I can see the truth that perspective and experience can make a difference in how we handle it each time we face it if we are willing to learn from previous encounters.

Something Learned

I have learned that God is asking me to trust him in this season of life. I have a tendency to want to be in control and to have everything planned out and prepared. However, I also want to live out the purposes God has for me and those often require flexibility and a willingness to surrender my plans for something better. Not knowing what is coming or having an agenda makes me feel insecure. I am trying to be open to whatever God wants to do and trust in his plans and purposes, even when that means not having an answer to what’s next for me.

Something Read

I read a great book for parents wanting to help themselves and their children grow in generosity toward others. Raising World Changers in a Changing World by Kristen Welch reminds us of how privileged and resourced we are living in America and how different people in many other parts of the world live. It asks the question, What if we have been so blessed in order that we might be a blessing to others? I really want my kids to be loving and compassionate people and being generous to others is both a way to grow in compassion and also the result of that growth. The book has questions to discuss as a family to encourage us to think about what we have and how we can use it to show God’s love to others.

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