Megan Byrd

Writer

fear

Take Time to Be Filled

Too often, I find myself acting out of fear. I make decisions based on what I think will please others, afraid of criticism. I say yes to requests that make me uncomfortable or don’t seem like my best yes because I’m afraid of rejection if I say no. I refrain from sharing my dreams and desires out of fear of being laughed at or being ridiculed if I fail.

God doesn’t want us to live afraid.

He tells his people many times in Scripture not to be afraid:

  • God told Abram not to be afraid when he was worried that he wouldn’t have an heir to carry on his family line: “Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward” (Gen. 15:1 NIV).
  • God encouraged Joshua as the new leader of the Israelites: “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go” (Josh. 1:9 NIV).
  • Jesus tells his disciples not to be afraid on the night he’s betrayed: “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world does. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid” (John 14:27 NIV).
  • Peter encourages Christians in Asia Minor by reminding them that they are not alone: “Give all your worries and cares to God, for her cares about you” (1 Pet. 5:7 NLT).

These stories give me the encouragement I need to move beyond fear in my decision-making.

Take Time to Be Filled

When the Bible admonishes someone not to be afraid, the comfort offered is not a five-step plan for overcoming their fear. Nor is it a clear vision of the future. It’s a reminder that they’re not alone, that it’s God himself who’s with them. God tells us to lean into him, to share our concerns with him, and then trust that it’s all in his hands.

I’ve struggled with allowing fear and anxiety to overwhelm me at times. I’ve ruminated on things that haven’t happened or that I can’t control. I desperately want my fears to be assuaged. Often, I forget that God is waiting to exchange my worry for peace. Instead, I try to do more and work harder, hoping busyness will be the answer.

Read the rest over at The Glorious Table.

Where Is God Asking You to Trust in Him?

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5–6 NIV)

How do you trust in God with all your heart? I think it’s choosing to believe that he has his best in mind for you at all times. Believing that even in the bleakest of circumstances, God can and will show up and bring good. Choosing not to allow fear to dictate how you feel, what you think about, or the actions you take. Staying rooted in the truth of God’s love for you and remembering all the ways he’s been faithful in your past.

Isaiah reminds us that God has declared that his ways and thoughts are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8–9). What we see or know might not be everything a situation involves, and we tend to think in ways the world has told us are true and absolute. But God doesn’t work within man’s constraints. He’s all powerful and all knowing, and he’s most likely working behind the scenes for something good we might not be able to imagine.

Submission is such a hard concept to grasp in our day and age. We’re told to stand up for ourselves, take what belongs to us, and not let anyone tell us what to do. Submission asks us to lay down our own desires and hand our dreams and plans to someone else. It involves choosing the path of humility. It’s important to be certain that who you submit to is completely trustworthy and will do what’s best for you.

Proverbs 3:5 reminds us that we can’t submit to someone we don’t completely trust. If we’re unsure about God’s love for us or about his desire to bless and provide good things for us, then, of course, we can’t in good conscience submit to him. It’s only in the experience of a faithful and loving relationship developed and proven over time that we can submit to God in complete confidence.

Read the rest at The Glorious Table.

Stepping Into My Calling

I am often nervous about how what I write will be received. I am even more anxious when I submit something I write to an outside website or publication because I want it to be received well. I tend to doubt my ability to create something that others will deem valuable or worthy of publication.

I have recently become a contributor to a website which is both exciting and scary. Whenever I have an article deadline coming up it always makes me nervous that whatever I submit will be rejected or not up to par with the other articles on the site. My first articles were accepted, why won’t this one? I am a little intimidated by the editors of the site because they are professionals in the writing industry and I am a relative novice. However, one of the reasons I applied for the position was to receive helpful writing feedback from the editors. All this opportunity can do is make me better if I can fight through the fear and submit to the process.

I know it’s the enemy trying to paralyze me in fear. He wants me to think I’m not good enough and can’t do it so that I will quit and not share words of life and hope with others. The truth is that I applied for the position of contributor and was accepted which means that they liked my style and content. I can write well. I have worthwhile things to say.

Writing is a gift and a ministry opportunity. All of the doubt and fear means that there is great promise in my ability. The enemy attacks us where we can threaten or hurt him the most. He wants to keep me from writing so that I will not positively impact others for the kingdom. He is afraid of what might happen if I am left to write unfettered and unobstructed. Chains might be broken and people healed. It is for freedom Christ set us free. My purpose is to be free and show others the way to freedom. Writing God’s truth through my experiences is one way to do that. If I don’t share my story, others won’t be able to see God’s love and grace and goodness in my life and have hope to receive the same in theirs.

I have been letting the enemy win by dragging my feet with writing. I have been distracting myself and allowing outside distractions to sidetrack me from writing. I need to see writing as God’s assignment to reveal God’s love and grace to those around me. I need to take that assignment seriously. Not to the detriment of neglecting other responsibilities, but using my weekdays responsibly. I have an obligation to steward my gift well.

I have realized that I’m still not quite able to really invest in myself as a writer. I did use unexpected money to publish a book six years ago but I have not continued to invest in the project. I have done a few random other investments – books on writing, the She Speaks conference last year, my website – but nothing consistent because I, apparently, do not feel like it will yield a significant return. I don’t have a desire to abandon this calling to write, but I am not all in yet either.

I still feel silly calling myself a writer and pursuing this path. I feel like I am indulging myself and it could never be a real career path, even though other people have done it and are doing it. For some reason, I don’t feel qualified. I doubt whether I could really be a real writer. But what does a real writer look like? I am already a writer and an author. I write articles every week on my website. I have articles published on outside websites. I published a book. What more do I need to do to believe I am a writer?

Why am I so ashamed to say my ambition out loud? Am I afraid of failure? Am I afraid declaring my dream will lead to its doom? Do I fear others laughing at or ridiculing me? Perhaps all of those things are true. But they are all being spoken by fear. They are possibilities, not realities. Anything can happen with my writing. Nothing will happen if I don’t write. That’s the only certainty. I need to opt for the possibility of success. I need to define what success would look like for me and not worry about the world’s definition. What do I think a successful writing career would look like for me? Only in answering that question, will I know what the next step should be.

Do you struggle with stepping into something God has been calling you to? What keeps you from moving forward?

Trusting God Over My Fear

I love to learn. I almost always have at least one non-fiction book I’m working my way through. Recently there have been some topics that I have wanted to explore more so I found some books for new perspectives. NetGalley has been very helpful in providing free books on relevant topics. I am growing in knowledge but have struggled to figure out what to do with this information. Am I simply supposed to use it to inform my own thoughts and beliefs? Is it supposed to prompt a new action? Do I share what I’ve learned with others? Do all of these things need to be done?

I have felt overwhelmed by these thoughts and so no real action has been taken yet. I was at my discipleship group recently and I realized that I haven’t talked to God about what I should do with my new knowledge. I know I should. Something someone else said during discussion prompted the following thought: Am I not praying because I am afraid of what God’s answer might be?

I know that God loves me and will always be with me. I know that he has a purpose for me and plans for my life. I know he has my best in mind and can bring something good out of all circumstances. I know these things, but do I really believe them? If I believe them, then I would be willing to do whatever God asks of me.

Right now I am afraid that God might ask me to do something that leads to conflict, judgment and/or rejection by other people. Are these things guaranteed to happen? No. Is it a possibility? Yes. Whenever you are vulnerable and share a true part of yourself, you open yourself up to potential ridicule or rejection. But you also open yourself up to acceptance and love. Being loved for who you truly are is the greatest thing.

Ultimately it comes down to two things. 1) Do I trust God? Do I believe his purposes are better than anything else? 2) Am I more interested in man’s approval or God’s? I can’t always have both so which is more important to me?

While I want to be obedient, I am still afraid. So I will take the first step which is to pray for God’s direction. While waiting, I will also pray for courage and peace to be able to take the next step when it becomes clear.

 

Is there something you believe God is asking of you that you are afraid to do? Will you choose to trust God’s plans and pray for courage to be obedient?

The Lies Behind Your Fears

I have loved music for as long as I can remember. When I was a kid, I used to tape record myself singing. I loved our school music performances in elementary school and would play and sing along for hours with the tape our teacher sent home. I often hoped to be given a solo in the Christmas and spring performances. I vividly recall wanting one particular solo and thinking after the performance that I would have done a better job than the kid who received the part. I obviously did not have any confidence issues.

At some point, all of that changed. I came to believe that I had a bad singing voice. I don’t recall anyone telling me I didn’t sing well. I do have memories in middle and high school of answering the phone and people thinking they were speaking with a man. (That still happens.) Once the caller went through the names of the other three members of my household before saying, “Who is this?” My grandfather once said that he liked my voice because it wasn’t high pitched or shrill. I think my complex about my singing voice stemmed from having a manly-sounding voice. In my head, having a lower-pitched voice got twisted to mean that I had a bad voice, one that would not sound good because it was too low for a woman.

Whatever happened, I became terrified to sing in situations where I might be heard – at a birthday party, at my twelve member Christian campus group, with friends, and at church. I still loved singing when I was alone, but I feared being rejected or ridiculed by others when they heard how bad I sounded. (Why I thought this would happen, I cannot tell you. Fear can come up with all kinds of unlikely scenarios to paralyze you.)

Once in college, I asked a musical friend of mine to tell me truthfully how my singing sounded. After I sung along with a CD for a bit he said it sounded fine. While encouraging, that opinion was not enough to change my thoughts.

When I became a mother, I learned that singing to my children helped soothe them when they were fussy. I wanted to sing them the songs I had heard and loved as a child in the hopes that they, too, would love them. I was okay with this because I knew they wouldn’t judge me and would love me regardless. It was still challenging to sing in front of my husband but I would occasionally do it. I once decided to sing him “Happy Birthday” solo to demonstrate my love for him. I was terrified, but no one died and we’re still married so I guess it was fine.

I was slowly loosening up, but still extremely self-conscious. I tried to bolster my confidence by reminding myself that the Bible says to “make a joyful noise unto the Lord” in order to feel okay worshipping through singing at church. It says “joyful noise” not “melodious, on-key singing only,” right?

Last fall I went to Propel Activate with some women from my church. During the day-long conference, one of the women in my group said to me something along the lines of, “I know you think you have a bad singing voice, but you don’t.” I was shocked. How did she know this about me? (I asked her recently and she said that I told her at a women’s retreat several years prior.) At the time (and still now), I believed that it was a message from God reminding me that he sees me and knows me. Earlier this year I had a dream that my mom told me I could sing well. It seemed very random, but I found it comforting.

I have been gradually singing more freely at church, birthday parties, and with my family but am still self-conscious about it. I have noticed more professional women singers with deeper voices who sound amazing and that brings encouragement as well. I may not be ready for karaoke – that’s still a nightmarish scenario for me – but I am grateful for the growth in this area.

I think it’s been helpful looking back to try to find the cause of my beliefs in order to root out the lies. Only by recognizing what I am believing about myself and why, can I determine whether I am living in truth. If not, then I can replace the lies with truth. I may not have a Grammy-worthy voice, but it is highly unlikely I will be unfriended or mocked by others for singing. If I like singing, I should do it and let my joy make up for whatever I may lack.

 

What lies have you been believing that have kept you stuck in fear? Do you have any areas of struggle in your life where you have been making progress? 

Three Steps to Overcoming Perfectionism

As a follower of Jesus, I continuously desire to grow in love—love for God, for others, and for myself. I thrive on setting goals and methodically working through steps to completion, yet I possess a weakness that emerges whenever I’m working on a project. That weakness is perfectionism.

While perfection is the impetus that pushes me to complete the goals I set, it has no tolerance for failure or mistakes. This means there’s little room for love and grace, for being human. The drive for perfection is in direct opposition to my desire to grow in love, especially toward myself.

I love putting my thoughts down on paper because that’s how I best process my feelings and the lessons I’m learning as I move through life. I share my experiences with others through blogging because I desire to encourage them. I’m aware of how freeing it is to realize I’m not alone in a particular struggle or experience.

While this may sound like a noble ambition, I’m often thwarted by perfectionism, which is constantly offering up reasons not to publish what I write. My writing is not good enough yet. Who am I to have something valuable to say on this subject? Someone may be offended by what I write. Someone may be critical of my words. That last one is the deadliest. Criticism feels like failure to a …

Read the rest of this article at The Glorious Table.

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I am privileged to have been accepted as a contributor to The Glorious Table, a website purposed to encourage women in their life journeys. I will have an article on the site several times a year and will share them here to encourage you to check out what else is over there. I hope you will enjoy what you find over there!

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