I love to learn. I almost always have at least one non-fiction book I’m working my way through. Recently there have been some topics that I have wanted to explore more so I found some books for new perspectives. NetGalley has been very helpful in providing free books on relevant topics. I am growing in knowledge but have struggled to figure out what to do with this information. Am I simply supposed to use it to inform my own thoughts and beliefs? Is it supposed to prompt a new action? Do I share what I’ve learned with others? Do all of these things need to be done?
I have felt overwhelmed by these thoughts and so no real action has been taken yet. I was at my discipleship group recently and I realized that I haven’t talked to God about what I should do with my new knowledge. I know I should. Something someone else said during discussion prompted the following thought: Am I not praying because I am afraid of what God’s answer might be?
I know that God loves me and will always be with me. I know that he has a purpose for me and plans for my life. I know he has my best in mind and can bring something good out of all circumstances. I know these things, but do I really believe them? If I believe them, then I would be willing to do whatever God asks of me.
Right now I am afraid that God might ask me to do something that leads to conflict, judgment and/or rejection by other people. Are these things guaranteed to happen? No. Is it a possibility? Yes. Whenever you are vulnerable and share a true part of yourself, you open yourself up to potential ridicule or rejection. But you also open yourself up to acceptance and love. Being loved for who you truly are is the greatest thing.
Ultimately it comes down to two things. 1) Do I trust God? Do I believe his purposes are better than anything else? 2) Am I more interested in man’s approval or God’s? I can’t always have both so which is more important to me?
While I want to be obedient, I am still afraid. So I will take the first step which is to pray for God’s direction. While waiting, I will also pray for courage and peace to be able to take the next step when it becomes clear.
Is there something you believe God is asking of you that you are afraid to do? Will you choose to trust God’s plans and pray for courage to be obedient?