This is a personal update about our family’s search for community in our new town. You can read previous updates about getting to know our neighbors, looking for a church, and trying to make friends.
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We’ve now been in the area for four months. I started out very strong as far as reaching out and making purposeful efforts to connect with others but that’s kind of waned the last month or so. I could say that it’s because I’ve been busy working on writing but I think I’ve been doing more writing partially to keep myself busy as a distraction from the loneliness that’s begun to creep in.
When I was in Atlanta last month, it felt so good to be back with people who have known me for a long time and are familiar with my history and struggles. I felt comfortable sharing a little of the frustration I’m feeling at not having very many connections yet. I really miss our old friends and church but have been trying to ignore these feelings.
I really want to have a strong community again. I know it takes time, intention, and vulnerability. I really made an effort in the first several months. I know it will take more time and effort. It’s a challenge having been somewhere for such a long time and now having to essentially start over. I know it’s possible if we will continue to do the work. One of my friends said it usually takes her about two years in a new place to gain a sense of belonging. Honestly, that’s a little disheartening, but it gives me perspective.
I am very grateful for the few connections I have already cultivated. I’m really hoping the new year will bring more opportunities to get to know people, especially at a church.
It seems like the novelty of moving has worn off and now I’m feeling a little lonely at having lost our community. I know this is normal and to be expected. But I wanted to be honest. If you read this, would you check in with me sometime? I would greatly appreciate the reminder that I’m seen.
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If you’ve moved, did you find it took about two years to feel established in your new area? What connections helped you to feel a sense of belonging?