Establishing relationships with others helps you to feel settled wherever you live. Our family recently moved and are working diligently to form new friendships. This is the account of our third month in Asheville. You can also read about our first and second months.
09-25-19
I took my usual Wednesday gym class this morning. I chatted with R1 a little before I went to the class. When I arrived in the room it was nearly full except for spaces at the front (not my favorite). I ended up chatting with the woman behind me before class began (K3). She said the same instructor teaches a TRX class on Friday mornings. I said I might check it out and she warned me to sign up early on Thursday because it fills up quickly.
We received an invitation in the mail for a reception in October for the realty company we used to find our house here. I’d like to go to have an excuse to see A2. I guess we’ll see.
I searched FB for the women I met at the book fair. I found one and sent her a friend request which she accepted. Hurray! Starting to make school connections.
09-26-19
Adam and Kaitlyn went to the 3-4 open house this evening. Adam met the parents of one of Kaitlyn’s classmates. They also have a son in kindergarten. Kaitlyn informed me that Adam gave the mom my phone number to try to plan a playdate. I guess we’ll see if she contacts me.
I signed up for the TRX class at the gym tomorrow. I’m a little nervous but I like the instructor so hopefully it will be a positive experience.
09-27-19
I talked to R1 a bit this morning before the TRX class. When I wandered into the room, I learned that we use straps and our bodyweight for class. I found an open spot and set down my water bottle. I saw K3 from Wednesday’s class and said hi. She introduced me to two of her friends. I recognized P1 from the Wednesday class (her shoes, actually). It was a challenging class but good. The ladies suggested that I come every week as it’s a good end-of-week workout. I know I’ll be sore tomorrow. I saw R1 again briefly after my class.
This afternoon I received a text from K4, the mom of one of Kaitlyn’s classmates. I was glad that she texted me. We’re going to try to get everyone together sometime next weekend if things work out. I hope everyone gets along. It’d be nice to have more friends.
09-30-19
I heard back from our new babysitters confirming for next Thursday. This meant I could RSVP yes for the realty party. I’m hoping A2 will be there and we can meet her husband. I guess we’ll see. If not, it’ll be a nice adult evening out.
I confirmed with R1 smoothies after exercise class tomorrow.
I tried to find the woman we saw at church yesterday on FB but it’s hard when you don’t have a last name. I also texted E1 about a potential playdate. They’re still busy so who knows if we’ll be able to manage.
10-01-19
I met R1 after cycle class and we got smoothies and talked. I asked about getting the kids together sometime this week and we settled on Friday afternoon. She brought me a loaf of pumpkin bread that my whole family thought was delicious.
10-02-19
I went to my usual Wednesday class. I saw P1 who I met Friday and talked with her a bit before class. She’s lived multiple places but they’re retired now. She was a school teacher and also worked at Monticello for a time.
I talked to R1 after class and thanked her for the pumpkin bread.
10-03-19
I texted back and forth with K4 last night to set up a day and time to get the families together. We finally settled on Sunday afternoon. It’s kind of weird because I haven’t met any of them, though Adam has. It would be nice if our families clicked. I guess we’ll find out.
10-04-19
E1 texted me this morning. We are tentatively going to get the families together next Sunday. They’re just so busy it’s hard to make plans.
I went to TRX class this morning. I found a spot and then went to the front desk to chat with R1 for a bit before class started. I saw a woman I had talked to last week and asked if she did the weights class just before TRX. She said she did and asked if I’d taken one. I introduced myself and she did the same. I asked her about her family and then the class started. After class, I couldn’t remember her name but she repeated it to me. I said hi to P1 after class and she introduced me to her husband. He asked if I took the Pilates class, which I don’t. He probably recognized me from the Wednesday class. He mentioned that he hikes with a group on Tuesdays and I asked if he had any recommendations. These encounters are encouraging me to set a gym schedule so that I can get to know the other regulars. I’m kind of working on it.
I met R1, her kids, and her husband at the park with my kids this afternoon. A5 was a surprise last-minute addition but I was glad for the opportunity to get to know him some. He is writing a novel and traveled quite a bit while he was in the Marines. The kids played well together even though it was super hot and they were guzzling water. It was a good time. We’ll have to invite everyone over for dinner sometime.
I received a text from an ATL friend which was a pleasant surprise.
10-06-19
Our house is picked up and ready for our guests. Hope it goes well!
Everyone seemed to enjoy the dinner this evening. We had appetizers and talked while the kids ran around together. The girls disappeared and we didn’t see or hear much from them for a long time. The boys were much more boisterous. I think that’s just the difference between girls and boys. I learned more about K4 and E4. A6, their son, will be playing basketball at the Y this winter along with our kids. We all ate dinner together and then the kids disappeared again and we thought K4 and E4 how to play Blackout. It was fun. I think we could do that again.
10-09-19
This afternoon I went to the creative writing group. There were four of us. The group liked my story and we used it for an exercise. A4 had something that caused her to arrive late so another member led the group today.
10-10-19
We didn’t end up going to the realty event tonight. I have been struggling with a stomach bug and didn’t want to feel bad at the party so I canceled with our sitters in the morning so that they could arrange other plans as necessary. Oh well, that’s life.
10-11-19
My mother-in-law was interested in my gym’s Restorative Yoga class so we went. I saw R1 briefly when we checked in. She was giving a tour. While we were gathering our props for class, I recognized a woman from the creative writing group. She said it was her first time taking the class too. It is the first time I’ve seen someone randomly outside of our established meeting place. The class was pleasantly surprising. After class, I was super relaxed. It felt like the effects of receiving a massage.
10-13-19
I took J to the birthday party of a classmate today. I talked some with the birthday girl’s parents during the party.
E1 and family came over later in the afternoon to hang out and eat dinner. The kids were loud and crazy most of the time but I think that was proof they were having a good time It was nice to get to catch up with them. E1 said she and the girls may go to Mills River Park on Tuesday. We may try to join her if the timing works out (spoiler: it didn’t work out).
10-15-19
Yesterday I finally tried the Group Power class I’ve been avoiding due to intimidation. I asked the woman in front of me for advice but it was her first time too. I learned she’s J6 and has a 3rd grader and kindergartener at the same school as my kids. If I see her again I’ll say hi.
This morning I took cycle class and met R1 after to hang out. As I was ordering my smoothie, the cycle instructor spoke from behind me. “I promise I’m not stalking you.” I’ve seen her at Mosaic most Tuesdays after cycle so I know it was a joke. R1 and I sat outside and talked for over an hour. It’s always an enjoyable time. I felt like there was a lot to catch up on since we didn’t meet last week. She said she may try NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month).
10-16-19
I saw R1 on the way to class this morning. I saw J6 again and we talked before class. I learned more about her. I don’t feel at ease with her so I don’t know that we’ll end up clicking, but you never know. Right before class started I saw N1 who I met at TRX a few weeks ago. After class, I spent twenty minutes on the treadmill and she got on the one next to me. We made small talk a little and I tried to figure out where she lived in relation to me but I still couldn’t find her neighborhood when I drove home.
10-18-19
I talked to R1 a bit at the gym this morning and asked if they had any weekend plans. In TRX class I saw N1 and told her I finally figured out where she lived on the way into the gym. I learned she’s a nurse and originally from England.
10-21-19
This morning I didn’t really want to go to the gym but drove myself there saying it was only a 50-minute class and then I could be done for the day. When I walked up the stairs toward class I saw R1. I think it’s the first time I’ve seen her there when she wasn’t working or we weren’t planning to meet. She wasn’t really feeling the gym either but we both showed up so good for us.
10-22-19
I met R1 at Mosaic at 8:30. We ordered drinks and talked for over an hour before she had to go to her training session. We talked about all sorts of things including writing, parenting, and our spiritual lives. I suggested doing a book study together starting in January and she said she was up for it. Hurray!
10-23-19
I took a class and then spent 20 minutes on the treadmill next to N1 making small talk. I saw R1 at the gym after my workout. The front desk was busy so we didn’t really get to talk long.
I met Adam for lunch at the Poke Bowl place and he saw a co-worker. We stopped on our way out to talk and his co-worker mentioned getting the families together sometime. I guess that’s for him and Adam to work out.
*****
I am thoroughly enjoying my friendship with R1. I’d like to meet a few more people so that I don’t depend too much on one person for my relational needs. I’ve made that mistake before. I guess I need to do more talking and inviting.
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