Megan Byrd

Writer

Friday Five

My Favorite Things

It’s Friday Five time! Last September I participated in a weekly blog link up and enjoyed having a specific prompt to write on. I found that writing weekly was too large of a commitment for me at the time. When I saw the prompt for today I thought it’d be fun to try to jump back into the fray. This week’s challenge is to share five of our favorite things. That gives me a whole lot of wiggle room. I’m just going to dive in and see where it goes.

  1. Sleep. Oh man, I love sleep! My body loves sleep! When allowed, it will try to average nine hours of sleep per night. This rarely happens, especially now that we have a school age child. Also, more recently I have come to prefer other things to extra sleep, mainly a quiet house so that I can spend some quality time in prayer and devotion reading first thing in the morning. I have a tendency to feel guilty when I sleep longer than everyone else so I will head straight downstairs instead of taking time for this important and beneficial activity. I would rather miss a little sleep than feel guilt. I also know that if my body doesn’t get good sleep for several days in a row that I will get sick so I try to avoid multiple nights of less than 6.5 hours.
  2. Books. Yes, I realize this is a very generic thing but I’m not sorry. I LOOOOOOVE books! I am almost always reading at least one book (usually two). My favorite genre is Christian living. I also like autobiographies, historical fiction, humor, action and adventure, classics, comics, decorating, cooking, organizing…I will read just about anything. I have read a large number of picture books and chapter books since having children and enjoy many of those as well. I don’t particularly care for most science fiction, horror or super gushy romance titles. I’m sure there are a few other genres I don’t care for that I haven’t listed. Reading is my haven, my escape from reality, my relaxation and me-time. I would much rather read than watch tv or a movie. If I am alone, it’s my go-to activity. If you like books, I can talk to you for hours. I am always eager to share about my most recent favorites and recommend ones I think you might enjoy.
bookshelf
This is my actual home library.
  1. Exercising. Once again, generic. Exercising makes me feel good physically, mentally and emotionally. “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands.” (Elle Woods, Legally Blonde) I don’t know about anyone else, but there is a lot of truth in this statement. No, I have never wanted to shoot anyone, but a happy wife/mom creates a much more positive environment for her family. I played sports growing up which didn’t feel like exercise to me, but rather enjoyable activities. I learned how to play tennis when we moved to Georgia and enjoyed that as well. I have tried to find exercise forms that are more fun than work. It’s probably why I don’t care much for running. It feels like work. I have had a couple of instances when it wasn’t terrible, which is progress. However, I prefer classes where people can push me to work hard. I have really increased my practice of yoga the past couple of years and, while I don’t always sweat, I have been sore the next day a number of times. I have also seen improved flexibility and strength. Anywho, obviously I love exercising.

happy quote22

  1. Beauty in nature. I love a brilliant sunrise or sunset (though I’m more likely to witness the latter – see favorite #1). I love a breathtaking view of mountains and valleys, of an endless ocean, of sandy beaches, millions of stars stretching across a midnight blue sky. I love the vibrant colors of fall leaves and spring flowers. I love the sound of babbling streams and the crash of waves on the shore. There are so many wonderful things to see and experience outdoors. I enjoy hiking through the woods and spotting animals, hearing birds call, frogs croak and the wind rustle the leaves. It is so peaceful and calming.

agriculture-arable-clouds-countryside

  1. Deep friendships. I am an introvert. I thrive in close one-on-one relationships. Nothing makes me feel more alive and connected than sharing the things of my heart with someone and them reciprocating. It is an honor and a privilege I do not take lightly. I love when I find someone I can be very open and honest with and receive acceptance and love. These relationships are not formed quickly or often but when they do, they are so refreshing and restorative. I gain healing from giving and receiving truth.

 

It turns out my list of “things” aren’t really things at all. Yes, books are tangible items, but I read a lot of books borrowed from the library and friends so it’s not about the physical book. It’s about the experience of learning, of engaging with new ideas or an imaginary world for a bit. That was a very interesting discovery.

So there we have it. Five of my favorite things. These have been some of my favorites for a long time. Are any of them your favorite? What would your list look like? I’d love to hear from you!

Also, please check out mrsdisciple.com to read other #FridayFive lists.

Things I’ve Learned From the Men in my Life

  When I first started thinking about this writing prompt I was a little stumped. In recent years I have surrounded myself with some amazing women. I’ve been in Bible studies with them, mom groups, tennis teams, authors of books I’ve read. I could think of a vast number of women I admire. It took a little more time for my mind to think about the men in my life and how they have impacted me. I enjoyed the challenge and what I recalled from thinking about influences in my life.

1) My father

  I initially felt that this was pretty cliche, but the longer I’ve lived the more I’ve learned that there are a lot of people who did not grow up with fathers who loved, encouraged, supported and invested in them. It seems like a given to me because that was my experience but I am not necessarily the norm. I have a lot of fond memories of my father. I remember playing in his workshop with wood, nails and hammers while he worked on his own project. The smell of sawdust transports me back to his workshop. He didn’t seem to mind me being in there. He would let my friends and I work on projects in there (we attempted to make a boat for our pond but it was not even close to water-tight and turned into a dock). I remember riding on our riding lawnmower with him (and eventually being given the job of official lawn mower). I remember him cheering me on at my sporting events. He was a vocal supporter. I remember having a father-daughter date when I was visiting home from college. I asked him some personal questions that made him squirm a bit (probably fear that being flawed would remove his hero status – not true). I always felt secure in his love. My dad taught me that I am important, worthy of his time and support, and worth showing up for.

He still has this Christmas shirt I made him in elementary school!

2) My husband

  It is possibly also cliche that I find my husband worthy of admiration but I really don’t care. He is a wonderful man, a hard worker, a loving husband and father. I admire his dedication to integrity at work and home. I appreciate his love, support and encouragement. I love his heart for serving and helping others. I could gush forever but I’ll keep it short and sweet. Among countless other things, he has taught me that I don’t have to do it all and that it’s okay to ask for help.

3) My high school youth pastor

  I loved my high school youth pastor and his wife. They were so open and honest. They weren’t afraid of sharing their mistakes because they were secure in God’s love for them and hoped their testimony would prevent us from making the same mistakes. My affection for them probably increased because of their authenticity and vulnerability. He taught me that my mistakes do not make me ineffective for God. Redemption is available and God can still be honored and glorified through my life. I think he (and his wife) also planted the seed that has enabled me to be honest and vulnerable because of personal experience of how it encourages and can be an example for others.

4) My grandfather

  For nearly all of my remembered life (ages 3+) my family lived away from our extended family. Nearly every summer my brother and I would fly out to Oregon to visit our grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. We always had a blast spending time with everyone and enjoying the moderate climate of the pacific northwest. I have a lot of fond memories of staying at my grandparents’ farm. We would catch grasshoppers to feed the chickens, pick produce, throw apples to the deer, catch cabbage moths to earn nickels, pick “puff balls” off of the oak trees, swim in the creek and shoot hoops on the side of the barn. I remember bumping around the grounds with Grandpa in his old red truck, learning square dancing basics, playing memory math games and lots of card games. My grandfather taught me that math is fun and working hard is worthwhile.


5) My friend’s husband

  I haven’t really spent a lot of time with the husbands of my friends but, for a while, I was part of a prayer group that was hosted at my friend’s house and had a four-person core group (two of which were my friend and her husband). We all learned a lot about one another and enjoyed praying for one another, our church and whatever else was mentioned each meeting. Also, being friends for quite a few years I learned a lot about my friend’s husband through my friend. I have been impressed by his obedience and faithfulness to God and his desire to honor God in all circumstances and areas of his life. His love for God and his family is evident to all. He diligently serves others with his abilities. If he can help you, he will. My friend’s husband has helped teach me the power of prayer, the importance of obedience and trust in God in all circumstances, and the joy of using your gifts and abilities to serve others and glorify God.

  There are more men I could have mentioned as having influenced my life. I hope that you will think about those in your life who influence you positively and, perhaps, reach out them and let them know that you appreciate them.


Five Influential Women I’ve Met

  I was excited to tackle this topic because there are so many wonderful women in my life that have been positive influences. It was hard to narrow it down to five but somehow I managed. I am so thankful to have had such positive female influences in my life. There are a number of authors,  bloggers and podcasters that have been influencial in my life so I definitely wanted to include at least one in addition to “in real life” people. I hope you’ll enjoy my list and let me know about some of the fabulous women in your life.

1) My mother

  This almost seems like a given because women are often close to their mothers. I know not everyone has this experience. And, by others’ standards, I would probably not be considered close to my mother (we communicate about once per week). However, we have a very good relationship. I love spending time with her (which is rare because we live 2200 miles apart). I value her opinion. I have positive memories from childhood. Her story (at least the parts I know about) has given me great respect for her. She has shown me the value of perseverance and pursuing your goals even when there are challenges or you are not supported by those around you. She has been so open with me about her story that my admiration and appreciation for her has only grown through the years. I have a distinct memory of riding home from a high school basketball game (she came to nearly all of my sporting events, even the 2+ hour away ones) and being so engrossed in a very vulnerable and honest conversation that we ended up getting pulled over for speeding. My mom is amazing and I am grateful for her impact and influence in my life.

2) My maternal grandmother

  My grandmother died a little over six years ago. I am glad that she is no longer suffering from dementia but I miss her dearly. She was an amazing woman and I enjoyed her very much. She was a strong woman who made friends wherever she went – to her there was no such thing as a stranger. She broke barriers of her time by becoming Oregon’s first female licensed water treatment plant operator – running the plant for her town (this happened during a time when the reporters referred to her as Mrs. Eugene Cherry when they wrote an article on her in the newspaper). She was a hard worker. She was firm but also fun. We loved visiting her and grandpa in the summers. We learned many card games from her. She took us to the library often. She encouraged me to work on my cooking skills (and my brother as well). She gave us chores and tasks to contribute. She was as involved as she could be from many states away and made us feel that she was proud of us.

3) My paternal grandmother

  My other grandmother also lived in Oregon and we would see her every summer as well. She was also a strong woman but much quieter than my maternal grandmother. She was a hardworking woman who raised five children, milked cows, sewed her own clothing, tended a garden, and was very involved in her community. Her life wasn’t easy but she didn’t seem to complain. She trusted God and made do with what she had. She taught me some sewing basics and helped me make a few items including a dress. I remember wandering through her flower garden smelling all of the wonderful roses, cracking open rocks with a pick axe in hopes of finding geodes, wandering through the cow pasture, riding bikes up to the country store for candy, and hunting for frogs. My grandmother was diligent about writing to various family members to keep us abreast of events and other family members. At her funeral, the church was packed with people who had been influenced by her over the years.

4) My former pastor’s wife

  My husband moved here to GA a few months before we got married. When I came to visit him before the wedding, my future pastor and his wife allowed me to stay with them. It still blows my mind that they let a stranger stay with them. When I moved down here, we were involved in their small group and that’s how I got to know her better. She hosted women’s events at her house and I was impressed by her hospitality and generosity. When I became a stay-at-home mom, she invited me and my daughter over to her house so that I could get some social time while my daughter played with toys. I will always appreciate her kindness in making time for us every other week and being willing to listen and answer any questions about motherhood or life in general. She has invested in so many women, children, families and relationships throughout the years, the fruits of which are evident in all of the support and help her family has received recently walking through their own challenging life events. She is a wonderful example of someone whose joy is found in Christ and who has a confident trust in God to provide for her in all circumstances.

5) Jen Hatmaker

  I have read numerous blog posts by her (the first one being Worst End-of-School Mom Ever) and she comes across as funny, friendly and inviting in her writing. I appreciate her candor and her passion for people. She is not afraid to be her true self even when it means being criticized by others. She has a huge heart and desires for everyone to know that they are loved by God and valuable as a person. I was fortunate enough to be chosen as part of her book launch team for her most recent book, For the Love, and it became an invitation to get to know her a little better (and even attend a party at her house!). She is just as kind and gracious and generous in person as she is online. She is an introvert (like myself) and still willingly hugged, talked and took pictures individually with a long line of women in her backyard. I cannot imagine how exhausted she must have felt at the end of that night. Yet she was so warm and kind (and the rest of her family was just as lovely). I know that it must be hard to receive criticism for being genuine, vulnerable and proclaiming that Jesus’ love is for everyone. I have great respect and admiration for her. Her example encourages me to be myself and not fear criticism for living authentically.

She took pictures like this with approximately 200 people!

There are many more women who have influenced my life and who I appreciate greatly and could have easily highlighted here (so please don’t think you’re not important if you’re not one of these five!). I would love to hear about some amazing women impacting your life! Share in the comment section below! 


Trauma Often Leads to Tears

  When I saw this theme for the Friday Five I didn’t know what to think. Crying in general tends to make me feel uncomfortable, whether it’s me doing the crying or watching someone else cry. I tend to be a fairly even-keeled person regarding emotions. At least, I’m good at keeping them from showing most of the time. I used to be more self-conscious about crying in public but I am growing in understanding and acceptance that it is okay to have emotions and to express them in healthy ways. I thought it would be interesting to think back on my past and talk about five memorable instances of crying. It was challenging. It was also a very interesting exercise of reflection on past events.

1) When my kitten was run over

  When I was in elementary school we adopted a mother cat and her four kittens. We lived on four acres so we had plenty of room for them. Some friends of my parents came over for dinner one evening. We were outside watching them leave and, apparently, one of the kittens (named Killer of all things) had climbed up onto one of the tires. It was a terrible tragedy to witness, especially since it wasn’t killed by the accident and my dad had to relieve him of his pain. I distinctly remember bawling in my room that night. It was the first time I remember being emotionally affected by an animal loss.

2) When my friend was killed in a car accident

My friend and I freshman year

  The summer after my freshman year of high school, just a week or two before school started again, my friend (and across-the-street neighbor) and her friend were killed when their car hydroplaned into a concrete pillar under a bridge. I remember my mom calling me, telling me the news and saying to find my dad. I went downstairs and told him what mom had just said and then cried into his shirt. In addition to losing a friend and neighbor, I was a bit traumatized knowing that I could have been in that car (she had invited me to go with them but I had volleyball practice). It was the first time I’d lost a person close to me.

3) When I found out my first child was breech

  I was thirty-five weeks into my pregnancy and had gone for a regular check up. The doctor was checking my cervix and noted that I was beginning to dilate. She thought she could feel the head but then realized that it didn’t feel like a head so she had an ultrasound performed. She then confirmed and announced to me that my baby was breech and that, if s/he didn’t turn, I would have to have a c-section. I was upset because it was not at all part of my ideal birth plan. Somehow I managed to call my husband to tell him the news and then continue on to the consignment sale to look for baby items like I had planned. Later that day, when I saw Adam at home, he asked me how I was doing and then I burst into tears in his arms.

4) A few days after my first child’s birth

Am I really ready for this???

  I am confident that I leaked some happy tears when I heard my children’s cries for the first time. I’m sure a lot of people cry after their children are born. What I distinctly remember is being home from the hospital (either the day we came home or the next) and being so overwhelmed by emotion (and probably hormones) and bawling in my husband’s arms once again. I’m sure this is common for many women. I don’t remember doing this after my second child was born but there is a distinct difference between the two birth experiences.

  This crying jag occurred just over a week after the one when I found out my daughter was breech. The time period between the two events may not seem significant but it is. After learning my baby was breech my doctor set up an appointment for the following Tuesday just to check up on things. So, five days later, I was back in my doctor’s office. My husband came with me for emotional support after the last appointment, which was a blessing because at this one we learned that the umbilical cord was prolapsed and we needed to get the baby out quickly. I’m pretty sure my ob looked at us and said, “You’re going to have a baby today.” My husband drove me straight to the hospital, ran home to grab the bags we had half-packed and came back to witness the birth of our first child at my 36th week of pregnancy.

  Everything was so unexpected and stressful. Thankfully, the surgery went fine and the baby was pretty healthy despite being a month early. I was thrust into motherhood without my usually careful planning and preparation. I was so overwhelmed by everything that, when we returned home and were alone to process everything, the stress of the experience overwhelmed me and I cried (I didn’t really comprehend how traumatic my experience was until I was working on this post).

5) When I pray out loud with other people

  This has been a more recent phenomenon, partly because I used to be terrified of praying out loud.  In the past couple of months I have noticed that I cry during intercessory prayer times. I remember sitting at a friend’s dining room table a few weeks ago and tears running down my face as we prayed for one another, for our church, for our children. I recently attended a prayer meeting and cried as I prayed, listened to others pray and agreed with the prayers offered on behalf of the family.

  This more recent prayer-related crying is what is helping me to become comfortable with crying in front of others. I don’t want to stop praying with people and I don’t anticipate this physical response ceasing. I just need to make sure there are tissues close at hand.

I hope sharing my experiences has been helpful and encouraging to you. Have you seen any patterns in what causes the physical release of crying in your life? Have you cried over similar experiences? It’s always encouraging to be reminded that you’re not alone in your experiences.


I Quit: Five Things I Want to Remove From My Life

  No one likes to be called a quitter. It has a decidedly negative connotation. It’s a word used to try to cajole others into continuing to persevere through a course of action. People continue on in an endeavor or commitment even when they might not think it the best decision for them because they fear being labeled a quitter. Why is quitting such a shameful thing?

  Sometimes quitting means realizing the futility of a specific task or path and choosing to go a different route. It’s admitting that there is nothing good to be had in continuing. There are a number of things that are good to quit: toxic relationships, unhealthy eating habits, lying, stealing, addiction, a job you hate that sucks the life out of you. In this context, quitting is a good, brave thing.
  There are some habits and thought patterns in my own life that I would be better off without. In these instances I believe quitting would be healthy and brave and beneficial. Today I want to share with you five things I’m going to work on quitting.

1)      Allowing fear to dictate my actions.
  I tend to overanalyze situations and decisions. I think about possible outcomes and the reaction that might come from them. I allow what someone might think or say about me to keep me from doing what I believe to be what is needed. What I need to do is be true to what I believe is right and not worry about how it might be received by others. I can’t control what others think or do and I shouldn’t allow a perceived reaction to hold me back.
  I also allow fear to keep me from taking steps toward accomplishing my goals and dreams. Part of the fear is criticism and rejection from others. The other part is negative self-talk that I am not qualified or smart enough or influential enough to write and publish an article or book. Who am I to think someone would pay for my thoughts and advice? If I never step out of my comfort zone and push through the fear, I won’t get to the satisfaction of trying and, perhaps, even succeeding. Fear wants to keep me ineffective. It wants to keep me from reaching out to others and perhaps encourage them with my words and experiences. What a shame if I allow fear to keep me immobilized.
2)      Trying to control everything about my life.
  I am a planner and scheduler. I like to know what’s going on in my daily/weekly schedule. I have tended to take the initiative to reach out to anyone I was interested in getting to know to set up a meeting or play date (depending on whether they have children). I have gotten overwhelmed, overscheduled, and burned out on a number of occasions. God has been working in me to learn to rest and to trust him with my life (schedules, relationships, etc). It’s still very much a work in progress but I have enjoyed a less structured, more leisurely schedule the past few months.
3)      Self-condemnation/negative self-talk.
  I’m sure many of us have that unkind voice inside of us that tells us that we are not enough. It likes to remind us of our flaws and failures. It tries to undermine our self-confidence. I believe it is related to perfectionistic tendencies. Something inside of us wants to be perfect and above reproach and we chastise ourselves when we show our humanness. I have struggled for years with my perfectionism. I am slowly accepting that it is not possible and I am only asked to show up and give what I have, whether that is much or little. If I approach each day open and willing to work diligently and with my whole heart, that’s the best I can do and it is enough.
4)      Pretending I have it all together.
  I think this kind of ties in with all of the above. I am afraid that if I show my flaws that I might be ridiculed or judged or rejected. Pretending I have no issues or needs is like a cocoon of protection. But just as it keeps hurt out, it also keeps love and acceptance from getting in as well. We all know no one is perfect but we like to act like we’re the only ones who have made mistakes or have scars from past experiences. I have learned that being open allows others to do the same and am working on putting down my self-protection front of pretending to be okay all of the time.
5)      Judging other people.
  I know that this is addressed in the Bible and is not a desirable trait but I still fall into this trap and it affects my attitude and words. I have read and know personally that we often judge others about things we know we struggle with as well. We tend to judge others to make ourselves feel better or more superior. However, judging doesn’t benefit anyone. It doesn’t improve my relationships with others. What I would prefer to do is to trust that everyone is doing the best they can. Everyone has a bad day and that might be the day I cross their path. I am not always observant of what’s around me and not considering those around me which may cause me to inconvenience or annoy someone else. If I can give myself grace, I ought to give others grace as well.

So these are five things I would like to work on quitting. Is there anything you would like to quit? If you’d like to read what other people are saying, head over to mrsdisciple.com. 
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