This is a personal update about our family’s search for community in our new town. You can read previous updates about getting to know our neighbors, looking for a church, and trying to make friends.
We’ve now been in the area for four months. I started out very strong as far as reaching out and making purposeful efforts to connect with others but that’s kind of waned the last month or so. I could say that it’s because I’ve been busy working on writing but I think I’ve been doing more writing partially to keep myself busy as a distraction from the loneliness that’s begun to creep in.
When I was in Atlanta last month, it felt so good to be back with people who have known me for a long time and are familiar with my history and struggles. I felt comfortable sharing a little of the frustration I’m feeling at not having very many connections yet. I really miss our old friends and church but have been trying to ignore these feelings.
I really want to have a strong community again. I know it takes time, intention, and vulnerability. I really made an effort in the first several months. I know it will take more time and effort. It’s a challenge having been somewhere for such a long time and now having to essentially start over. I know it’s possible if we will continue to do the work. One of my friends said it usually takes her about two years in a new place to gain a sense of belonging. Honestly, that’s a little disheartening, but it gives me perspective.
I am very grateful for the few connections I have already cultivated. I’m really hoping the new year will bring more opportunities to get to know people, especially at a church.
It seems like the novelty of moving has worn off and now I’m feeling a little lonely at having lost our community. I know this is normal and to be expected. But I wanted to be honest. If you read this, would you check in with me sometime? I would greatly appreciate the reminder that I’m seen.
If you’ve moved, did you find it took about two years to feel established in your new area? What connections helped you to feel a sense of belonging?
Having moved several times, I say yes on about average, give or take a few months. One place though was only a couple months, maybe becasue it was a very small community and it was easy to connect with having a baby and getting involved in a mom’s group. This last move has taken longer though and still developing. Maybe this is due to my kids are older and/or we live out in the boonies, between two towns, where I can go back and forth and do for certain things.
Thanks for sharing. My kids start basketball this week. I’m hoping we can make some connections through that avenue this winter.